Historien om Elizabet er hjerterå og nydelig. Jeg skrev den for noen måneder siden. Den er ikke ferdig enda, og på mange måter har den akkurat begynt. Mitt møte med henne forandret mitt liv, og derfor har jeg heller ikke publisert den før nå. Den måtte fordøyes.
Den er skrevet på engelsk slik at noen av hennes familiemedlemmer òg skal kunne lese den. Kanskje er den litt for lang for en blogg, men jeg håper du tar deg tid til å dykke litt ned i en virkelighet som er så rå at vi egentlig ikke har mulighet til å forstå den.
The vast differences between the Norwegian and Congolesian life comes to light as this story goes on.
While I was treated like a princess back home, playing on » green pastures » with everything that I could desire and even more, safe and comfortable in the midst of my loving parents, there was a young girl 13 years old getting pregnant with her first child back in Lubumbashi in the Katanga province in Congo.
CHASED AWAY FROM HER OWN FAMILY
Due to culture and tradition, she was then chased out of her family and sent far away. Until this day Elisabeth doesn’t know where or who her family is.
While still pregnant, she went into an arranged marriage with Benjamin Kabundji Kongolo. A man that already had a wife. Since this one did not get pregnant he decided to take another one. Elisabeth was to fullfill the purpose of getting a big family. She certainly did, and got eight children with her husband.
After a while the motherhood was released int the other wife as well, and the family was growing.
A SURVIVAL STRUGGLE
At that time the big family was living in Kisangani where her husband worked at the postoffice. Even a third wife was included in the family, which of course added even more children into the house.
Life became a struggle for recourses, and the lionesses arose and tried their best to fight for their own children.
The third wife was, of one reason or another, favorised by the husband, and he did not pay much attention to his offspring from the other two.
A SLAVE IN HER OWN HOME
The beautiful, tiny Elizabet never got along with the third wife, and for some reason her life turned into a slavery for the rest of her family. Her days contained hard work from sunset to dawn. Even during her pregnancies.
VIOLENCE AND BEATING
She was badly beaten by her husband every day for years, and her son tells it was very hard for the children to watch their precious mum being treated like this. They were too small to defend her, but big enough to understand the pain she was going through.
Her tiny body was full of bruises, but luckily she was not seriously hurt.
At that time, when I was still enjoying my easy life, you may think that this young lady was broken and could not take anymore, but the story continues and will reveal even more hardship and fighting…….. and pure evilness.
In despite of her tender and beautiful apperance, her inside was strong and her fighting spirit well established. She was putting her trust in God and went forward.
LEFT THE FAMILY FOR EIGHT YEARS
One of Elizabet ‘s daughters , Antionette had a heart disease and she and the father of the house went to the Ivory Coast for her heart surgery. That trip lasted for eight years ! While the husband was absent, life became, if possible , even worse. Sixteen children to be fed and provided for without any regulary income.
A HARD LIFE
The money coming from the father during these years was only ment for the third wife and was not shared with the others. The first wife did tailoring to have some income, and in addition to take care of her big family, Elisabeth had to work as a maid to contribute to the fellowship.
At least she could live without the violent threat from her husband hanging over her.
When the two wifes could not get the sufficient for themselves and their children, they were offered food and the basics from the neighbours. They even supported the children so they could go to school.
In 1990 Kisangani life became overwhelming and too hard for the family . The father of the house had still not returned, so the mums decided to go to Kinshasa, the capital, to join the rest of the family who was living there.
They went two and two by the river. A trip of 1700 km which could remain from one week to one month due to the water depht and the condition of the boat. The income did not give them a chance to go all of them at a time, and they were dependent of getting free rides from friends working on the boat.
BROKENHEARTED
So, one by one Elizabet had to send her children away , until she remained all by herself with her youngest daughter Mimi. She had nothing and nobody to rely on, and was completely surrendered to the mercy of those who pitied her.
It is not necessary to tell that life turned into a nightmare.
This continued for two years , then one day in 1992 she got the opportunity to go to Kinshasa, and she and her youngest one, Mimi, started a long and exshausting journey to a new life. Elizabet imagined a safer and more predictable life in the midst of a family.
THE ACCUSATION
Until today nobody knows why, but as soon as she arrived
Kinshasa , her husband arranged a big family meeting where he accused her of occultism and declared her as a wich. The rest of the family was manipulated into a story of wichcaft and cursing, and Elizabet was chased out of the house and abandoned by all her family members. Her own children, who were either too young to understand or had already left home, could not defend her.
There was no one who took her side or stood up for her, no one in the family who raised a question or defended the one who had cared for them through many hard years and showed them nothing else than faithfulness and caring.
WAR
Between 1998 to 2003 Elisabeth found herself in a warzone. The suffering among the people in Kisangani who hosted the conflict was undescribable..
The war between Rwanda, Uganda and Congo ended 32 years of Mobutu dictatorship. During the rebellion, over six millions of the population died and thousands of women were raped. Elizabet were in the middle of all the cruelty beyond understanding, and saw every colour of the conflict. One day she watched eight women being buried alive. Those horrible memories are still hunting her mind, and will probably always do. Physical effects are still effecting her body as well. The beans given as an humanitarian aid, was poisoned by the Rwandians and many died or suffered from the the toxic effects.
ABANDONED
So, there she was, 33 years old, all by herself in the huge, raw and overwhelming capital of the Congo. For a girl from the province, spending years in beautiful Kisangani, it must have been really traumatizing finding herself in Kinshasa all by herself.
In addition to cope with the open wound in her heart, caused by the accusation of being a wich, the loss of her dear children, and being chased out of her family, she had to deal with the threatening of the big city life .
Elizabet had no one to turn to and for several days she stayed out on the streets, frightened and starving without knowing where to go or what to do.
After some days, she met with people taking care of her, and she managed to go back to Kisangani.
EVILNESS
To complete the evilness her husband called family and friends and spread the wichcraft rumors to the ones living there as well.
Going back was as cruel and awful as staying in Kinshasa, maybe even worse, since her last hope was now fading away.
As a congolesian women, your life is very vulnerable and surrendered to others, especially the men. As a Congolesian women abandond by everyone, with heavy and false accusations on your tiny, narrow shoulders…well, your life is worth nothing, seen through the heartless eyes of your surroundings.
Having to cope with her inner pain and her physical hunger, she was in a very bad condition.
Her only comfort was the Lord and the life she had in him.
As a revenge she took another man, and got pregnant. The result was precious, little Rebeka who is now a wonderful young girl at the age of seventeen. The relasionship with the man did not work out, and they left eachother.
As time went by, thanks to the Lord, there was one man in the family who could think for himself. He knew this lady and understood that the accusations had to be false. He took Elizabeth into his house.
The rescue felt like being under the wings of the most highest.
From 1998 until 2003 she had been all byherself, cut off of all communication with other people, being the outcast nobody was allowed to, or should talk to. Like being in a cell, trapped and without the possibility of interferring with other people. For 5 years Elizabet was a nobody.
A NEW LIFE BEGIN
Her son, Jean Bonheur who had been abroad some years for his education, knew nothing about what was going on back home with his precious mum. When the story reached him, his heart broke . He took all his savings and parts of his scolarship to secure a house for his mum and sister in Kinshasa.
And for the first time in her life Elisabeth Tshilomba, who was now 45 years old, could sleep in a bed with a matress ! All of her nights until now, she spent on the floor with a small something to cover her body.
FAMILY REUNION
When returning back to Congo Jean Bonheur decided to stay with his mom in the house and by that excample show the rest of the family that this precious , wonderful woman was worth being loved and appreciated. Slowly and step by step the family was united, and the understanding of the wrong doing that had been going on increased.
ELIZABET’S SON
Elizabet did not tell me this heartbreaking story. Her son Jean Bonheur did, and when he finished I cried for hours, getting a glimpse into this wonderful and strong woman`s life.
I met this young man and Elisabth`s son, one year ago in the village of Buta, in the Bas Uele Province, far up north in the rainforest in the Congo.
We worked together for two weeks for the Norwegian Baptist union, and during these weeks our hearts connected strongly.
So strong that I adopted him as my son, and since then he has been visiting with my family for 6 weeks this winter, We have started a humanitarian organization and a hospital together, and in April 2011, I find myself in his nation and hometown togheter with his people and family. From the first time he told me about his mom, I felt very connected to her,even though I’d never met this woman.
THE SISTER MEETING
On the 8th of April the day I had been longing for appears. Towards me in the front yard of her house she is. The most beautiful women you can imagine. A princess. Slim, tiny, beautiful eyes, radiating smile, charismatic and looking like a young girl. We fell into eachothers arms and none of us would let go.
Who needs a common language as long as our hearts speaks so strongly. A very precious and God -given moment.
So after 51 years we met. Our meeting was a part of our heavenly fathers wonderful logistics and the beginning of something new for the both of us. A meeting with her became for me an encounter with my heavenly father as well.
SURPRISED
I was surprised to find a woman with an upraised mind, a soft and generous heart and a natural authority combined with humbleness. Her wisdom of life had been payed for with a very high prise.
You don’t need to speak to her to understand her wisdom and knowledge. It seems like God has compensated her for her lack of skills when it comes to writing and reading in so many othe ways. It ‘s obvious that He has raised her up and blessed her with a very visible dignity. Among many others she is a lady that is beeing seen.
Her lifestory became a gateway into something new for me, because I realized that she is maybe not the only one in the beautiful, but still so poor and struggeling nation of Congo that has a story like this.
VISION
Most congolese women are in desparat need of being loved with a pure and undemanding love. They are like captivated daughters waiting to be awakened and rescued by a love bigger and stronger than any of their chains. To be crowned as the princesses they really are, to be given dignity and authority. To be appreciated for whom they are, not what they are producing . To be removed from their ditches and into places with fresh water and new clothings.
My dream is to establish women conferences where these elements can be planted into their lives. To take them aside, give them dignity and treat them like the princesses they are. To create a platform of restoring and healing, to let them regard themselves in the mirror of God’s undemanding love and to let them fall in love with Him !
This will lead to a higher level of inspiration which again leads to action and initiative!
